She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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