i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
