I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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