I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
