I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
