And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
