I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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