There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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