he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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