Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
