She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
