yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
