Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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