Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
