It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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