I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
