Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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