She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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