How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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