I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
