I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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