She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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