Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
