I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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