connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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