it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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