So drunk its hurt
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
