peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
