dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
