how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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