But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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