Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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