I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
