So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
