the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
