and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
