i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
