she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
