so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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