3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
