break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
