He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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