I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
