remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Houston, we have a squirter
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
