I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
it was like eating out sand paper
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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