And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
