Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
