I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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