She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
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we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
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At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
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