I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
