You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
