her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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