but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
