Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
