I wannas sexs uuuuu
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
