she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
