the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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