you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
