Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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