But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Just cropdusted the office
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
