I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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