apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
What drink are we having for lunch?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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