come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
