The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me the toilet please
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize